Drowning
by smellslikecorruption
Summary: They might be drowning but maybe they can pull each other out. In which Dick drinks heavily and Mac brings him home.
1. Sink

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: this is the prologue for a story about Mac and Dick and the way they help each other in the year after Cassidy dies. This is the only chapter that is written like this, the rest is in 3rd person. Spoilers for Not Pictured and there will be various tie-ins from season three. Enjoy!

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There are unspoken agreements made during that summer when you're always drunk and I'm always crying. We will save ourselves or save each other. Veronica and Logan have been through enough. They deserve their happy ending, so while we may be drowning in our own tragedy we will not pull them under ourselves. You go to the Caymans and I go camping and we tell anyone who asks that we are _fine, _but my red eyes and your slurred speech are giving us away. You don't talk to me unless you're drunk so we speak more often than I'd like. Sometimes you're cruel _its my fault he died, he never cared about me, if I hadn't taken up all his time you could've seen, you could've saved him. _Sometimes your kind _he loved me, you're sorry, you can see what he saw._ But your never sober and I never answer you. Maybe if I was running into you at parties it wouldn't be so sad, I wouldn't be so compelled to help you, but when I see you you're stumbling from bars or laying on the beach with a brown paper bag. We are not friends, we won't ever be friends but if I see you and you're drunk I pick you up and take you home. This isn't pining or some sort of lingering feeling for your brother. This is a coping mechanism, a way to survive. Little miss dead-below-the-waist and mister public intoxication pulling each other along. It may look like a one-way street but you're helping me more than you know. I couldn't save him, but I can save you. He could never accept the help he needed, but you can. It won't be easy, nothing that happens in this town ever is, but maybe we can keep each other out of hell.

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Leave a review and tell me what you think!


	2. conversation starters

AN: I know this story has been hanging with only one chapter for forever and I'm truly sorry for that. Sometimes stories just don't pan out like you respect, and this is one of those times. Unfortunately I don't think this one is ever going to reach the expectations I had. I completely ran out of steam on this one. But it's one of those things that's been bothering me. I have some material that I wrote way back when I was still actively working on the story. What I have makes some pretty large leaps in time, and I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but decided to throw it up on the site in case anyone is still waiting for it. If I ever return to this story, I'll definitely rework the order of things, but this is how it stands for now. Once again I'm sorry to anyone who was expecting more. I hope you like what I have.

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The fourth time they have a conversation.

"So why do you just wonder around like this when you're drunk? Why don't you call someone?"

"Like who?"

"Like, I don't know, like Logan. Isn't you're friend?"

"Not so much lately after the whole, not-saving-my-brother from-committing-suicide thing."

She cringes. He doesn't apologize.

….

The fifth time, insightful Dick makes a rare, and frankly unsettling appearance.

"So I was thinking about what you said about calling Logan."

She eyes him warily. "Uh-huh."

"And here's what I'm thinkin'. I don't call Logan to come get me and 'talk' for the same reason you aren't over at Ronnie's right now talkin' about your feelings."

She shifts uncomfortably in the driver's seat. "And that reason would be?"

"I don't wanna drag him into it. Or talk about it. Ever."

She is not particularly religious (and she becomes less so everyday), but she sends thanks straight to the heavens when she realizes that they've arrived at his gate, and she doesn't have to come up with a response.


	3. Confession

"He never really loved me. I like to think he did, but I know he didn't." Mac whispers into the darkness.

They're both sitting on the floor of the bathroom, she against the wall, he curled around the toilet. He doesn't respond but she didn't expect him to. This was out of the ordinary for them, never mind how weird it was that they had an ordinary.

She'd found him drunk at some party that was being held in the bottom floor of her dorm building and she would've taken him straight home, but he'd reached the oh-so-attractive puking stage of intoxication, and she sure as hell wasn't risking taking him in her car if he might throw up all over the upholstery. She had a feeling that he wouldn't pay for it to be cleaned, even if she did explain that he'd helped buy the car in the first place.

So instead of taking him to the Grand, she led him to an empty bathroom. Tonight he neither goaded nor praised her. Mostly he threw up and wavered in and out of consciousness. If she were ever going to talk to him about Cassidy, this would be the time to do it. No way he'll remember it tomorrow.

"He liked me, I'm sure, and once he told me he loved me. But you were right. He didn't love me. Not really.

"They found my clothes you know. And all the bed sheets, and everything. All that stuff he took. It was in one of those little rooms with the ice and the vending machine. The one at the end of our hall. He did it to keep me in the room I guess. S-sometimes I like to think that he did it to keep me from seeing him for what he was, because he cared enough about me, but you know I usually think?"

Dick doesn't move, doesn't respond.

"Usually I think that he did it because if I had followed him I'd have seen, have known, and he really thought he could kill Veronica without anyone finding out, and he'd just keep going with his life."

She's biting her lip, trying not to cry. She tips her head up towards the ceiling.

"I just, I know that if Logan hadn't gotten up there when he did, I _know _Cassidy would've gotten away with it. Blamed Aaron for Veronica, blamed Lucky for the plane. And, and he would've sat by me at her funeral, and he would've comforted me, and _no one would ever know. _But it's a lot harder to cover up two murders. That's why he had to make sure I stayed. So he wouldn't have to kill me, and risk exposing himself."

She rubs her hand over her face, and looks back over at Dick. He's staring at her with wide, unblinking eyes.

She sniffles a little and swallows hard. "You ready to go?"

He nods.

"You gonna puke in my car?"

He shakes his head.

She stands up and helps him to his feet. He clings to her hand and doesn't throw up once on the way to the car. She makes him ride with his head out the window anyway.


	4. Logan Gets It

"How's the site coming?"

"It's coming. Would you stop asking me that every ten seconds? Geez." Mac grumbled.

Logan slunk down further into the couch and groaned. "It's been, like, two hours. I'm bored."

"Logan, _you're_ the one who put this off, _you're_ the one who needs this done, and _I'm_ the one doing _you_ a huge favor. So if you want this to get done in time you're just going to have to be patient, got it?"

He raised his eyebrows, seemingly amused at her outburst, but he didn't say another word. For ten whole minutes.

"How much lon-"

"_Oh_ my God!" He smirked. "If you're planning on keeping this up all night just leave. Walk in a straight line for a while. Maybe you'll find a party."

Just as Logan was opening his mouth to retort, Mac's phone began to vibrate on the table. She picked it up and glanced at the caller ID. Marissa Tucker. "That's weird. Some girl I tutored in Calc. last semester is calling me."

Logan shrugged. "Answer it."

She flipped the phone open. "Hello? Hey Marissa…what are you talking about…I think you have the wrong girl…because I'm not friends with any frat boys…"

Beside her Logan sat up. He knew exactly where this conversation was headed.

"Oh. Right. _That_ frat boy. Um, we're not exactly friends but I guess I can see where you'd get confused." Her voice trailed off. "Wait he's _what_? And you think _I_ will?" Mac heaved a sigh. "Fine. I'll be right there." She slammed her phone shut and glared at Logan. "Not a word."

He grinned. "About what? Someone calling you to come get Dick? Why on earth would I say something about that?"

"Look," she said as she began to search around the room for her keys, "I wouldn't go, but she said he's super drunk and they've tried everything else to get him to leave short of calling campus police, but they can't do that because of the underage drinking. Marissa remembered seeing me walking out of some party with him a few months ago. I think I'm pretty much their last ditch attempt." She strode towards the door.

"Jesus. How drunk is he?"

"He took his shirt off and danced on a table. Also, and I'm pretty sure this is the main reason they want him gone, that guy from My Pretty Pony showed up and Dick's harassing him with questions about his sex life."

"Of course he is. You want me to come with?'

"Nah, it's okay. I got it. Be right back." And she was gone.

Logan folded his hands behind head and leaned back into the cushions. Girl hates boy. Boy hates girl. Girl helps boy anyway. He's seen this one before. Hell, he's lived this one before. Things had the potential to get very interesting.

Not twenty minutes later Dick stumbled into the suite followed by Mac. "Are you sure you don't want the help of an ass es-ecsh-spert?"

"Positive."

He mumbled something that sounded like "your loss" before weaving into his room and closing the door.

Mac dropped he purse on the coffee table and sat back down next Logan who just looked at her. "That was fast."

She drew in an irritated breath. "Yep."

"So what'd you have to do?"

"Swear you won't tell?"

He nodded, intrigued.

"Nothing. I didn't have to do anything. He saw me come into the room and he asked me 'are we going home now?' and I said 'yes' and he followed me to my car."

Logan couldn't quite keep the look of amusement off his face. Very interesting indeed.


	5. Swim

AN: So this is it. The epilogue is written in the same style as the prologue, but in Dicks POV. I hope everyone enjoyed it!

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You've been so bored without Veronica or Wallace or Parker, you've taken to parking yourself on our couch all day. Mostly you just talk to Logan but sometimes you talk to me, especially when the gaming system is on and you're kicking my ass. Logan says you're good for me, because every day you're here is another day I spend sober. Right now, you're standing on the balcony, on the phone with Veronica. You're smiling, the sun catching in your hair, and for the first time I think maybe I want to kiss you even when I'm sober. I think that should probably scare me more than it does.

Logan's out there now, trying to find out what's going on with Ronnie, but being too big a pansy to ask for the phone. You catch my eye, roll yours towards the pansy, and laugh. It feels like a beginning.


End file.
